the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
