I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
