Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
