just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm at about main and main street
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
