This is not my ceiling
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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