OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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