its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
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