your room smells of hookers.
And success
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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