Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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