My cat gives me a boner
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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