Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
