put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
sarcasm needs its own font
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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