he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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