She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
