Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
