I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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