Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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