I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Please don't give away my fajitas
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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