Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
