Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
