i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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