god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
