oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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