Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Don't EVER smell your tampon
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
