What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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