Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
