Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
