remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My bed smells like the plague
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
