I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Can you bring me the toilet please
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
