i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize