THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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