Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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