I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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