Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize