You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
