I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize