Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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