He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
