the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
