we're blogging at a bar
Acid is not a monday night drug
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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