Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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