I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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