it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
