From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm sobbing to NWA
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize