Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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