Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I deserve this hangover.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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