When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
