nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize