You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
