Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
