just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
