i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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