so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
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