Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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