Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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