So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
