just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
