Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
