just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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